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A little humor for the first Friday of a new month

Slave: -kneeling- Oh Master! You are the whole of my universe, the certainty of my existence. You are why my heart beats, my lungs fill, my toes curl. You shelter me like an offshore bank in the Reagan years. I grovel before you in awe of Your power, willing to satisfy You in every way...

Master: -peering over the paper- Every way?

Slave: -pressing forehead to the floor and wiggling seductively- Anything and everything is open to You oh Magnificent Maven of Mastery! I beg, nay, beseech, namer still, humbly crawl to kiss Your toes in the hopes You will use me...

Master: The bank account?

Slave: -looking up from underneath her hair- what?

Master: Your bank account. You said everything was open to me, so I was thinking of that big account you have ...

Slave: -coming up on all fours to stare- Oh most wonderfulest of all Masters, surely you know that your ultimate control of me is so extensive that all I have is yours, but...BUT...You are so secure in the knowledge of my perfect and total enslavement that You would have no need to actually =have= an account number for this, Your most humble of servants.

Master: No cash?

Slave: -dropping head back down to the floor- As always, Master, Your understanding of my heart is perfection in and of itself. It is why i give You every atom of my being, even unto the subatomic level...

Master: -folding away the paper- Then it's sex.

Slave: -raising and throwing her arms up in touchdown form- YESYESYES..Oh, Master of mine, You are truly the ultimate owner of my being!!!

Master: oral sex.

Slave: YESYESYESYES

Master: You would like to give me oral sex.

Slave: -dropping arms to her sides to stare- what?

Master: Well, I thought that this time instead of me...you know...I might command you...

Slave: -gritting teeth- MASTER....errr Master, Your memory being so much better and stronger than that of Your lowly slave, i =know= You recall how You show Your ultimate Mastery by satis...er...torturing Your property for hours on end. You recall how i shriek at Your touch? How i squirm in agony trying to escape?

Master: Well, yes...there is a lot of squirming...

Slave: -leaping to her feet and jumping up and down- Oh Master!! You punish Your slave to help her better serve You in the perfection of Your regard!! -running into the bedroom, voice fading into the distance- Let Your lowly slave suffer soon, Master!!

Master: :::sighing deeply, turning off the TV and following his slave into the bedroom:::

<<>>

Slave: -Lying back on the bed, one arm behind her head, legs crossed, slowly blowing smoke rings- Oh Master, You are surely showing this one how to behave tonight.

Master: -lying on his back, chest heaving, sweaty hair matted to his head- uhhh...uhhhh

Slave: -sighing and stretching- This lowly slave is so happy she learned on the web that everyone has their own unique way to share in the wondrous world of D and s...

Master: uhhhhnn..uhhh

Slave: ...and is so happy that her Master is so cruel and demanding and that she can offer herself totally to Him each and every day!

Master: UHHH...uhhhh

Slave: And Master?

Master: uhh?

Slave: -looking deeply into His eyes, lower lip trembling- It makes Your slave tremble in fear and longing to know that soon You will once again train Your slave to perfect obedience by denying her the pleasure of cooking dinner...

Master: -sighing- uhhhhhhhhhhhnn