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little epiphanies

Getting into the shower, i realized that the steel around my throat is never as heavy as when it's the only thing that i have on. i can be in silky lingerie, fuzzy pajamas, a little black dress, or a tank top and jeans and feel the weight of it and always know it's locked onto me like my Master's very hold, but when i'm alone and naked is when the weight and feel of this symbol of His presence in my life stands out at attention. It made this girl's mind wander over the times we talked about the meanings of collars, the representations and symbolism in the collar itself..

His decision to lock a collar around my neck was His own, though i'm sure He knew that it had been a sort of fantasy of mine. What kajira doesn't wish to wear her Master's collar for real? However, it is my belief, not that this girl knows for sure or would speak for her Master in any way, but that it is what i understand to be true at least..that my Master's decision to gift me with locking steel, instead of leather or a more discreet, necklace-type day-collar, was that the latter options were not sufficient reminders or representatives of the nature of our relationship. Yes. This submissive/slave/kajira said 'relationship' lol! How odd to think of, right? But He is more than 'Master' and He has finally gotten it through this girl's thick head... i am more than 'slave'. i am HIS. i am His girl...

i don't know exactly where i was going with this little snippet of my mind, but i am just happy to wear steel, i am happy to wear HIS collar, and i am ecstatic that He chose me lol